Pictures

they capture a moment, significant in time
quick glance once as the button clicks by.
falling further back to where he once came,
this is why, I in too many not so common ways, die.

a picture is but a mere instance captured, remembered.
staring in, time and space, distance, past, present and future.
unmoveable laws we abide by,
now deranged as they follow the sway that bends and breaks the mind.

even a mere fragment of a picture sends the senses into a frenzy,
as the body remains in its state, the mind violently, forcibly torn away,
then shamelessly, hopelessly flung into places that i wish not to be.
yet, at the same time, places that i once even called mine.

thats the problem with pictures,
they catch and retain all that we have seen.
with piercing remembrance of things that used to be,
being in places with people that I now still, yearn to see.

i always feel better after vomitting everything out. goodnight world out there.

oh yeah. just to recap, caleb is now in his second year persuing his little piece of paper certifying him as a communications expert, unfortunately, he still remains in KDU Penang. a lot has changed over the years, or rather months since he last updated. so yeah. heres to show im still alive but in more ways than one, barely breathing.

it comes in seemingly innocent

a slight drizzle, a shade from the sun's scorch

a gentle breeze,

the wind in your hair.

cruel intentions it has in mind
taking life,

dulling the day,

darkening the skies,

all in its due time.

it leaves nothing in its rampage of cruel irony of bullets from on high

an image of that of heaven's temper,
shall we not then look for hope in the sky?
for in the end, all it leaves us with,

are whispers of terror filled whimper.

you are my storm, my thunderstorm
although a mere visage of what was real it was,

because i know that you are not here,
and i have to say is that ...

you still take my breath away
the very sight of you, though it really wasnt you,
still makes my heart skip a beat.

PS. my holidays are.. well. they're here. then why dont i really feel it?

just a insignificantly important subliminal yellow sticky note reminder,
beneath my well trained smiles,
behind words that offer care, concern and sympathy,
in between my humorous gestures and social etiquette,
i forgive, but never shall i ever forget.
i am an actor, with the world as my stage,
only a handfull know the man behind the mask,
who's secret intentions shall remain hidden,
but remember this if you've forgotten it all...





I Forgive, but i sure as hell will never forget.

methods of advertising, marketing principles, making a product that sucks, look good. PR.

the better understanding of the media, its culture that it has created, and its effects on the society we live in, giving birth to all kinds of inequalities, stereotypes. negative racial representations.

methods of research when studying closely the means and ways of the media. then to conclude and to completely comprehend the essence of what might be the most influential institution in today's media based society, the mass media.

the study of conversing, to research how people interact, how colonialism is also applied socially. i give you, sociology.

oh how i hate yet love my subjects this semester. finals are up in less than a week. am i prepared? believe it or not, i actually am.

just look at all the serious faces.. well me and jer were .. im not too sure bout the rest though. cant u just see all the info trying to bypass firewalls and shit, attempting to penetrate our brains?

lol. u dont wanna know where this is..

don we all look professional. pre finals, post presentations

life is all about the choices we make, but can we bare the consequences of those choices? well as for johnson, cable and jack the outcome is yet to come.

See, i've spent almost my entire 18 years of my life thus far, residing on this rather peculiar turtle shaped island. therefore, i dont think i'd know much bout summer. no, not some hot ass girl, nor the girl from the O.C. but rather, summer, the season. the idealogy of it even. but hey, just because i wasn't in Rome, although i did go there before, doesnt mean im not allowed to have a ceaser salad, wear a toga or have a ring of parsley around me head. wat am i talkin about? i dont really noe actually. if you've lost me already, im not directly referring to summer itself, but rather a time, a timeframe where most is enjoyed... wait.. let me try it this way.

so long my sweet summer

sunray my beam of light,
tickles down, dancing.

saying so long, goodnight,
sometimes rainbows come after heavy raining.

hello,
goodbye.
some paths rarely converge,
occasionally crossing merely during feeble moments in time's cruel curse.

silence springs eternal in his barren heart,
even before both choose to part.
what good is a word spoken,
when tomorrow it would more then soon be forgotten?

i saw you,
i felt you.
i was blinded by the light,
my body responded, it cried.

there really isnt a way to connect a blog post smoothfy after that without sounding .. nvm. so besides all this, how are my nights usually spent? .. with fakes, drives, rebounds, post ups, assists, and my fav block shots.. anyways. you guys know im sort of a basketball fanatic? lol. enjoy the imagery..

thats me scoring. that is(one on one game with josh at the river court. we each won one a piece)



im actually holding the ball. u cant see it

kindly excues the barefooted - ness and lack of sports attire. was kind of last minute.
players were, yours truly, caleb with the army fatigue pants, josh in denim 3 quarterrs, mark the only ah mo lol, andrew, jeremy and alfred.

board replies...

neighbour: well. our views to life have always been opposites. to each his or her own. :)

josh: lol. so its now, one game each, one tie and ... well.. guess we cud call jsut now even,although it wasnt on the court. hurts..

jiun: lol. will definitely take u out when u get back eh?

jien: I like black. haha. how have u been doing?

josh again: i noe the oth thing was u la lol.and im sorry but i cant do much when ur hungry so early in the morn. haha

with this i bid u goodnight.
.. i could have said..
keep.....
i somehow carry the cross.

what is life for you?
if one were to ask around, 98.3 percent of the time, no one would ever really be able to answer that question.
to define life, in my opinion has to be one of life's hardest questions to answer.
well, if professors, scholars, writers, poets and all, hailing from renowned associations of professional heritages are not able to take this one by the horns, what more an amature writer residing in one of the smallest islands in the world known not by many?

but, if you were to ask me, what life meant to me, id have to say ...


life is often painted with black and white. living life is about experiencing all the littel grey areas that comes our way.

life, is not measured in how many breaths one takesn, but in the times that take your breath away.

life is best viewed and partaken in its simplest forms. complications as always, complicate things. why bother? indulge in the simplicity that is serverd and offered up to us. the rising of a sun on a new day... after a long, dark and lonely night of mandering desolate plains.

life isnt a race. its a journey.

any takers? commet if u may.


and by the way, i think we found our 'river' court.

caleb is refraining to disdain.

let me take you out of this club?.. well isnt that a first. a line, not from an overated depressing song of the emo genre proving itself to be inspiring, but instead, this line comes from an R&B song entitled " let me take you out of this club"... well yeah its true essence means getting out of the club, then to the bedroom, but thats not how i'd intepret it.
..
.. weird i noe. but hey, again, my blog, my rules, my thoughts

arent you sick of it by now?
killing you as it ties you down.
havent you been hurt enough?
there isnt any blood, but i can see you bleeding.

flashing lights,
moving hands,
bar bound fights,
they welcome you into their clan.

I see you,
the hurt, the pain
the misery,
the shame.

take my hand,
i'll lead the way,
light you a path,
never shall i let you stray.

... so let me take you out of this club.

on a lighter note...

in the midst of assignments, dramas, poetic inspirations and all, i guess i found my own definition of serenity. on the black top. watching the finals of the intercollege basketball tournament awhile back, it was truly amazing. silencing the opposing crowd with a single play and at the same time, setting your side of the stadium on fire and jumping to its feet. imagine, 200 over people, watching, studying your every move, responding to each muscle movement of your body with an uproar of cheer. amazing.

on an even lighter note

lol.. hey im not some overly depressed freak, ok?

and finally.. seriously after so long..

guess who this is.. :P